I am so effin’ awesome

Fair warning, this post is entirely about how unbelievably good I am at this game.  If you are too intimidated by my place on the Mt Olympus of WoW players, just skip on right ahead to the next post in your feed.

Barney Stinson once wisely remarked on How I met Your Mother, “when I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.”

Posing with cheerleaders.


So, I had a very futile run of pvp encounters in a row.  Warsong Gulch where we got steamrolled, twice, then a Tol Barad where we could not capture a single tower and finally another Warsong Gulch where 6 of us could not kill a Prot Warrior with the flag even after killing both his healers.  That’s when he popped his cooldowns and lol’d at us. 

And I was sad.  And I said “hey, self, stop being sad, be awesome instead!”

Awesome Mode Activated

Queue up for WSG (I’m grinding out some rep, 910/21000 to go ‘till Conqueror title).  Zone in, notice three healers on our side, one on theirs.  Most people have pve gear on my team.  Will probably suck if the Allies are coordinated.

The game starts and I decide to find out how the other team looks and I start off by storming right into their midst and casting curse of exhaustion at every mount I see, then I throw in an aoe fear when I can hit 3+ people.  If anything, it delays them getting to our flag and maybe causes some of them to dismount and stop being part of the flag defense team.

In this case, about 5 of them dismounted and took so long to kill me that my team’s flag carrier had already got to us as I was dying.  A few were even close to dying while I kept myself alive through voodoo, I believe.  Dots all around, aoe fear, fear, death coil, health stone health boost, some drain life spam.  Lots of movement and curses of exhaustion.  I realized the other team wasn’t exactly super geared either. 

A general clusterfuck of fighting in the middle ensues among both teams so I decide to find our flag and return it.  I thought I saw enough people in the middle to make an educated guess that the enemy flag carrier was alone.  I was wrong, but anyways, that part is coming up.

Ruthless Questioning

Having called for my loyal raptor (orcs love raptors), I took off across the field of battle, my sights set on the Alliance base.  Within reach of the tunnel, a chance encounter with an Alliance allowed me to kill them.  Yes.  But not before gathering some useful information as presented in this highlight reel from Azereuters Press.


Having singed her fur, I moved on into the tunnel.  Turns out I didn’t need her help at all, because I am so awesome that the game bows to my needs and showed me where the flag was once I opened up my map.

Return #1, aka: When I kill 3 Allies + a healer

The courtyard was totally empty when I burst in triumphantly, ready to accept the flag carrier’s surrender with a fireball to the face.  Scratching my head in confusion I was hit with an arrow from way up, and quickly backtracked into the tunnel where I ran off to the roof.

Certain of victory through superior bodies, the three Allies stood there instead of escaping.  A fatal mistake.  The ret Paladin carrying the flag was unsure whether to stay safe or join the fray, allowing me time to dot up the hunter, put corruption on his pet, and fear the deathknight.  A moment later, the deathknight was also sporting a full set of dots, and my dropping health was slowed momentarily.  I ran towards the hunter, who in turn had run to his flag carrier.  After a second, the deathknight joined the party as well, and all 3 Allies + a pet went running as I cast my aoe fear.  The hunter’s health bar had dropped drastically so I pushed him with life drains and down he went.  Two more to go.  Maintaing dots on both the Paladin and Deathknight, I start running around the rooftop and avoiding their direct melee swings thanks to my curse of exhaustion on both.  Low health was worrying me, as even with all the magic wings in the world I could not survive for long against two melee, and I popped soul burn and health stone, returning me in the range of 100k health.  So focused were they on my death that the deathknight at no time popped his anti magic shield, allowing my dots to tic, tic, tic away.  The Paladin cast lay on heads on himself, denying me the hope of a quick death, but the Deathknight proved an excellent death coil target, following by an insta-cast shadow bolt, and then found himself dying to my drain life.  1 flag carrier left, who now launched into crazy hectic dps mode on my very low healthed ass, ie: around 50k, and terrified of getting to hammer of wrath range.

The game kept on being cat and mouse.  My dots and running away versus his best attempts to stun me (haha, still hadn’t used my trinket!).  Since he couldn’t use hands anymore, I felt certain of eventual victory… to the point of standing there and life draining, until I saw a Priest in vivid colors run towards us. The Paladin saw it too, because despite both of us being near death, he decided the best course of action was to take valuable time to /lol at me.

Not so fast, noble oppon.. err.. asshole!  This wasn’t a world class Paladin, and at no time had he interrupted me yet, so I stood there casting fear at the Priest who wasn’t sure what to do just yet, no insta casts, nothing, on his flag carrier.  And I kept draining life.  Turns out the priest had no trinket and ate a 9 second fear.  Flag was returned.  Priest was then killed as well.

Returns 2-3-4

Fresh from my victorious outburst of awesomeness, I thought it beneath my abilities to join the foot soldiers in the middle of the field, so I hung out in the Alliance base.  Nobody came to join me from either side for a good 5 minutes until some bot-like Pallie with 100k health came in simply to interrupt my boredom.  Quickly dispatched without taking any damage, I noticed flag carriers now had 4 stacks of debuff.  I decided to wait in their base a bit more.

Not more than a minute later, our flag was entering the Alliance tunnel yet again, carried by the same Paladin as before, but this time with a 40% movement debuff and 40% increased damage taken. 

On an absolute whim, I plopped a demonic portal right on their flag and ran out to the tunnel to meet him.  He sure as hell wasn’t alone, as a sea of red followed close behind.  I got a few dots off, exhaustion, and drain life and he was dying massively quick.  I was at max range and he was running ahead of his team, so none of them could reach me yet.  Under 50% health, he stuns me and hand of freedoms himself and takes off like mad to cap the flag.  I trinket and tried to deathcoil but he had already cleared the ramp up into the room.  The first shots and hits from his teammates also landed, and praying to luck, I teleported.  Right onto the flag with him maybe 5 yards away.  Death coil, grab their flag and bolt for the door… ironically in the direction the deathcoil sent him, and my dots had kept ticking along with my felpuppy.  A couple fel flames and he was dead, I had returned the flag again, and was off to the races.


A Shaman burst into the room at that moment and looked like he could heal, so I switched to demon armor and decided to tackle the Alliance team.

A lot of corruption, an infernal summon, and  then dots all around and he kept me alive until more teammates arrived and took care of them.  By this point I had 6 stacks of debuff and could walk about as fast as a snail on drugs.

We made our way down the map very slowly, with my dots hitting everything in sight to help heal me, and aoe fears hitting on every cooldown.  Twice we ran into flag carriers, and twice I took them down individually (because my teammates were behind me and not concerned with capping flags I guess).  Returns 3 and 4.

Then, after what seemed like enough time to have crossed the Bering Straits 15,000 years ago, we victoriously celebrated our first flag cap of the game.

Return #5

I admit, I did nothing except target flag carriers the rest of the game hoping for the fifth return, and it finally happened when the bot-paladin picked it up… also leading me to believe he wasn’t a bot but a terrible player.


The game finally ended with our 3rd cap (my second of the game), with under a minute to go.  Looking back on it, the only way to be even more awesome would have been to get Ironman at the same time, and I was just that initial dumb death away from it (I could have gotten all 3 caps).


The moral?

I was a WoW GOD that game.  One of those games that happen very rarely but that you feel like telling the world about because everything that could possibly go right DID in fight go right, and everything that could go wrong for their team did go wrong for them.  And oh hey I have a blog, so I can tell the world!

Suckers, some of you read it! BWahahaha!




7 Responses to “I am so effin’ awesome”

  1. 1 Tania October 8, 2011 at 8:08 pm


    Seriously, though, I was hoping for some more Paint art. I feel cheated!

  2. 3 Cynwise October 9, 2011 at 10:04 am

    You ARE awesome. Well done!

  3. 5 repgrind October 11, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    I must admit, that was a pretty awesome retelling there.

  4. 6 Shayzani October 11, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    YOu’ve done something I didn’t think possible in that you rekindled a desire to do warsong gulch again.

  5. 7 Sehk October 15, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    This needs retelling around a campfire whilst eating smores! EPIC! 😀

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